nOva touched on it. The Gothamist put their spin on it. The Weblog Awards are somewhat implying it. How to write a blog. Or journal. Or whatever you wanna call it.

Personally, if you have a blog and you want to write about how many times you wiped your ass today, then so be it. People will come to read it because they’re into that kinda thing. Such is the diversity of the Internet; chances are no matter what you’re into, there will be at least two other people who are into it as well. Call that Karsh’s Law.

Now maybe it’s just me, but don’t you hate it when a so-called “elite” few outta the blogosphere start dictating shit about how you should write a blog. Take for example the Gothamist’s rules. Three through seven are cool, but Numbers 1 and 2 are total crap.

1. Blogs are made up of posts that have “links + commentary.” Commentary, not Joyce-ian stream-of-consciousness. They can be personal, but more in terms of point of view, versus a webcam of yourself.

Last I checked, I could write about whatever the hell I wanted to, be it a movie or the new TV shows or my personal life. Don’t like it? Don’t read it.

2. For the love of God, do not write about yourself. Do not write about your friends. Do not write about your family. Do not write about your pets. Or airport travels. Do not write about that girl at the bodega on 4th avenue and how she’s giving you the eye. Do not write about your dates. Pick a real subject or series of subjects and stick to it — if you have to use the word “I” more than once a week, you are doing something very, very wrong. No one cares about you or the things you do (unless you are Paris Hilton, Bazima, or Bennifer — don’t believe the weary, B.Lo, keep it comin’ strong!), keep it to yourself.

Is this the blog gospel? Or is that blogospel? Puh-leeze. Write about your family, your friends, your pets…whatever the hell you want to. It’s your blog. I could understand if you’re blogging for…say, a living. Which very few people are doing. Most of us are blogging because we have something to say. And what’s better than looking back and having documented history of your life? I always find reading autobiographies quite interesting because it’s good to see how other people talk about their lives.

Wanna know what makes a blog good? The person blogging AND what they choose to blog about. Now what floats your boat may not float mine. Personally, political blogs like Instapundit bore me silly. Some of the “A-list bloggers” need some writing classes. Really. Go and read some of them and you’ll certainly find a cure for insomnia. And you know who I’m talking about. Even some personal blogs are straight booty. But you know what? Variety’s the spice of life. If we all started writing blogs the same way about the same stuff, this’d be a very dull blogosphere indeed.

Now stop bitching and get to writing. And living. Thanks. I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waiter.

Update: Glenn‘s officially the funniest mofo in my blogroll. Hilarious!