I am thoroughly convinced that my job is making me physically sick. For the past eight days, I have had a chronic headache which is driving me mad. I go to sleep, and it’s fine. Once I wake up, the throbbing continues. I’m hoping it’s not flu-related, but with the way the disease is spreading, that could be a very real possibility.

Of course, what I really think it is is stress. This is day eight out of my holiday nine-day work week. Since half of the staff here decided to take their floating holidays and vacation days this month, the remaining few of us are now worked to the fucking limit. We’re all sick of this place and these damned people. Now here in Hell, we’ve been mandated to wear Santa hats and wish everyone a “Happy Holidays”. Will I be wearing the hat? Hell fucking no. Also, I won’t wish you a “Happy Holidays”; I’m working nine hours a day, six plus three days a week for seven dollars and some change. I work and work and work and I’m still broke. We all are here. We don’t understand. Shove that in your corncob pipe and smoke it, you button-nosed freak. Happy holidays, my ass.

I tell you, if I never see another Christmas sweater, snowman pendant, snowflake earring, or smile of holiday cheer ever again, it won’t be too soon. I swear to God, people during the holidays are extra fucking stupid. They don’t read directions, they don’t read signs, they don’t do anything. People are just walking around with visions of sugarplums dancing in their fucking heads and not paying attention to their surroundings. If not that, they’re standing in once place like you’re supposed to kowtow and pull a stepnfechit for their patronage. PLEASE. Wonder why so many people get robbed during the holidays? Utter stupidity. Why get mad at me for asking for your ID if you pay by check or credit card? It’s my way of trying to verify who you are, fuckface. I tell you, customer service is not the industry to be in during the holidays.

So now, as braindead lobotomized jackasses wander around like sheep led to slaughter, I’ll forever lust after a bottle of Excedrin Tension Headache. If I’m lucky, I won’t snap and quit today from frustration.