Death-Phoenix done got her groove back. The mess all started with the following e-mail:

Hello Karsh,

I haven’t heard from you since my birthday. I tried to return your call the next day and received a recording about your phone being disconnected. I plan on coming to Atlanta with a friend next week and I would like to see you. E-mail me back and let me know when its the best time to call you.

Love,
Death-Phoenix

Seems innocuous, right? I e-mailed her back letting her know when I should call, but I figured it would be even better if I just called her at home and surprised her. As usual, the surprise was on me.

When I called, who should pick up the phone –

“Let me speak to Death-Phoenix.”

“Oh, Death-Phoenix don’t live here no mo’.”

Come again?

“Mein, she done met some nigga named Winston Shakespeare and she done moved in with him.”

“What about Husband #3?”

“Mein, dat nigga gone. He ain’t wanna get out and do no damn work, so she kicked him out. He still be calling here on the sly and shit tryin’ to get back wit’ her. ‘Dat nigga lame, mein.”

“No complaints here. Does Ma’dea know about him? You know how much Death-Phoenix tried to hide Husband #3….”

“Naw man, she know. Shiiiit, her and Winston Shakespeare used to go together in high school. They went to the prom together; she had met up with him recently at a funeral and…”

“She picked him up at a funeral?”

She never ceases to amaze me, I tell you. According to Smokedawg, she’s been coming to the house an hour or so a day to grab a few things, and then she’s off to his place. To further add to this sordid tale, Estranged Aunt has been kicked to the curb by Ma’dea and wishes to “room” with Smokedawg who, as he says, “thinks he’s kinda cute”.

Ugh. I’m not even touching that one.