It’s a wonder I hadn’t fallen the fuck out by now. I’ve been exposed to more germs and whatnot in the past few days than Li’l Kim’s panty shields. Clearly, I am not meant for dealing with general populace in these conditions. Too many Republicans and idiots post-election, you know.

On Saturday, I got my hair cut. And while I do have to go halfway across town to get my ears lowered, I do love the barber shop. No matter what time I go or how packed the shop is, I can still reach a barber that cuts my hair flawlessly (and not hitting the bald spot) and only charging me $12. On the way back home, this homeless dude is on the bus standing over me leaning over and shit. Yeah, there were other seats on the bus, but his ass would not sit down. I look up and this dude’s nose is so full of boogers the shit looks like a wasp’s nest. Then, he exhales through his nose and this big ass gob of mucus and boogers lands right on my fucking head.

On. My. Head.

The homeless man laughs and gets off at the next stop. Nasty ass motherfucker.

Since then, I ain’t been feelin’ too hot. It doesn’t help that a whole bunch of folks at work are sick too and sneezing, hacking and coughing all over the damn place. And I’ve been trying to keep in primo health conditions for these interviews (can’t go in all drippy and shit). I think Opportunity and I might go see a movie or something this week provided I’m not incapacitated from these germs.

Something told me I shoulda faked old and got a flu shot.