Now kwitcherbitchin’ and tune in next week so he can get voted off. Either him or the blonde gay boy with the hole in his throat.

Seriously, can we talk about how utterly uneventful AI has been this year? Maybe it’s because they raised the age limit? I don’t know…but the talent at least was clearly split down the middle. You had the Haves (Anwar, Nikko, Nadia, Bo, Carrie, Vonzell) and the Have-Nots (Scott, Anthony, Jessica, Constantine, Mikalah, Lindsey). Right now, it’s 3-2.

This is Season 4 of this show…we know all the claims of phone phreaking, speed-dialing, unfair voting, and network rigging. Season 1 it was Nikki McKibbin. Season 2 it was Carmen Rasmussen. Season 3 it was Jasmine Trias. And now it’s Scott. Sure, they can’t sing…but they get voted off eventually. Calm the fuck down. Don’t go making all these Internet petitions and crying to the media outlets because Constantscream is gone.

Oops. Too late.

The good talent gets voted off, and only the most mundane of the good talent gets the win. Sure, Kelly’s doing good now…that took what, three years after her AI win? Ruben’s showing up in doomed FOX sitcoms and re-ran on TVOne singing with IRS-owing Peabo Bryson. Fantasia’s schilling MAC products and fucking a model. She might’ve gotten the best out of the deal.

Don’t think Anwar or Nikko or Nadia or Constantinople won’t have a record coming out within the next year. Especially Maroulis…didn’t his band just get signed recently? They’d be stupid not to take him back, and he’d be stupid not to take his 14:59 and run like Hell on that last second.

I might start voting for Bo now, even though he is a former smackhound. Scott’ll end up leaving soon, and I doubt the studio audience will throw much of a hoopla over it. I’m sure Paula won’t; she only fucks the Guarini clones.

Goddamn, I can’t believe I just devoted a whole entry to American Idol.