Pisceans possess a gentle, patient, malleable nature. They have many generous qualities and are friendly, good natured, kind and compassionate, sensitive to the feelings of those around them, and respond with the utmost sympathy and tact to any suffering they encounter. They are deservedly popular with all kinds of people, partly because their easygoing, affectionate, submissive natures offer no threat or challenge to stronger and more exuberant characters.

Bullshit. Ladies and gentlemen, I submit to you…the evil Pisces. For those who don’t know, the evil Pisces manifests when the natural Pisces desire to understand and help mankind is overwhelmed by their frustration and disgust toward those they are trying to aid. This usually leads to the typical Pisces desire to eradicate the human race.

My fish are piranhas bitch!

Umm…yeah, that would be me.

I have to preface by saying that water signs in and of themselves are not to be fucked with. Crabs will clamp down on you, scorpions have a deadly sting and fish…well, fish stink. And they piss and shit in the ocean; the same one you go swimming in. It takes balls to use 3/4 of the world as your restroom and not give any thought to others about it.

But this is really about my latest wave of anti-emotion. Not necessarily being aloof, but just complete indifference manifesting itself as utter disgust for about 99% of people I encounter. *sigh* Oh, how I wish I could be all emotional and shit. And sometimes I am…I fall prey to it and just want to be in love and be loved. Like Nikka says:

cause i’ve been so strong
for so long
i’ve never needed anyone
but my strength is wearing out my heart
so i’m letting my guard down
cause i feel like i’ve finally found
somebody
but i gotta know

But enough about me feeling like I have to have that proved to me…that’s for another blog.

In the name of spring cleaning, I have been doing some cleaning out of certain things. My apartment (which I will be moving out of soon, hallelujah amen), my project list (not the 101/1001, but I do need to start that back up) and some so-called “friends”.

Namely Opportunity and The Why.

Ridding myself of Opportunity, which as y’all know has been damn near a nine-month process, actually went quite smoothly. I called him, we shared a few awkward words, and — in a surprising turn of events — he called me by my name. I know that’s not weird, but you have to consider how many times I’ve said this man’s name over the last year (I’m sure both Prime and EJ can attest to that) and on our last chat, this was the first time I can honestly say he’s ever said my name. And since there’s no more connection, friendship, video club membership or any mushy stuff like that anymore, I present to you…Opportunity.

Moving on….

The Why was a tougher nut to crack. Here’s the scenario on him in case I never gave it before: he’s a 28-year-old college student who also works a full-time job at the school. He would have graduated 5 years ago, but he ran away from school and joined Americorps after he woke up one day and decided he liked men…namely The Ex whom we both share. So he comes back and is working on school and with his job and trying to expunge the demon of homosexuality while dating an out gay man, a God-fearing, overbearing woman and attempting to get in the good graces of his church and save the world before bedtime.

So naturally, you can see why I was attracted to him.

Anywho, he came over on Tuesday and I told him we couldn’t be friends anymore because a) he’s a hypocrite and b) he only keeps me around for selfish reasons (i.e., like a resource and not an actual friend). And folks, let me tell you, the Biggest Blubbering Bitch Award goes to him for his 15 minute explanation (I timed it because I had one eye on him and another on Sex and the City) of why we couldn’t be friends and how he tries to take on so much and how we can’t be friends because he loves me so much and other bullshittery like that. And then tried to sneak in a jab to me by saying all I needed to do was go to church and get some Jesus and I would be alright.

The unmitigated noive~!

He left my apartment crying and saying he was going to crash his car into a tree so fast that the airbag wouldn’t deploy and he’d experience a swift, painless death. My response?

“You’re still here?”

Seriously, this being nice shit is for the birds sometimes. Next up: review for Nikka Costa’s can’tneverdidnothin’, perhaps the funkiest album of 2005…at least until Esthero drops hers.

Challah!