You know me — I don't pull any punches when it comes to shit here. If I don't like you, chances are, it's on the blog. Bad day at work? It's on the blog? Good sex? You guessed it, sweets. Dans le blog. Not much is kept a secret between me and y'all.

But you know, on the real…

…I would really love to quit my job tomorrow. Thing is, I don't get paid enough to even keep a modest amount of savings unless I lived like an ascetic.

…I never got much play from chicks. Ironically, since I realized I was gay and started havin' relations with men, chicks dig me now. What's up with that?

…I've gotten less play from men since I've been more comfortable with my sexuality.

…I can totally understand why gay men go more for straight/married guys. For me, it's been a matter of personality and of just being comfortable with being a man. I've met way too many gay men who can barely get over the fact they like dudes without turning into a self-hating whining pussy.

…it's so much easier to be evil than nice sometimes.

…I go way outside of my boundaries with folks in the name of trying to "belong" to a certain social scene, and in each instance, it's come back to bite me in the ass and left me wondering why I didn't just stay at home in the first place. References here, here and here.

…I have been drinking way too much these past few months. I blame work stress, not getting laid, and wantin' some lovin'. I need to cut it out, but honestly, a Negra Modelo with lime at the end of a long day is sooooo damn good.

…nearly every person I've met in person because of this blog doesn't talk to me anymore. What's that about?

…I haven't gotten over Opportunity. I lied to myself thinking that I had; the truth is, I'm still in love with him. To that effect, we have started communicating again. It's still strained and awkward, but I guess it's a start.

…gay white privilege makes me want to go all Nat Turner sometimes. It's sad that they just do not understand.

…don't tell me that because I'm a programmer and an artist and like listening to post-disco punk music and watch anime that I'm not "Black" enough. What does that mean…culturally? Socially? Politically? Suck my dick and tell me if it's Black enough.

…going to therapy didn't do me a lick of good six months later.

…these days, my writing sucks ass. The writing group I was in perked a few ideas, but nothing substantial enough to pursue. Manual, for now, is stuck in park.

…I wonder why I hadn't been invited to any other Black blogger meetups in Atlanta? Oh wait…now I remember. rolls eyes

…all I seem to meet here are whores, amateur porn sluts, keloid-ridden strippers, stuck-up snobs and church fags. Every day is an opening day.

…where the hell is Blogger #031905? I really wanted to meet him.

…I miss college, but not Morehouse.

…I hate that Death-Phoenix got remarried, but I understand her reasons, however selfish they are.

…I haven't had a real hug in six months.

…I really want my dick sucked every day.

…having penetrative sex these days scares me. I'd much prefer a relationship of romance, trust and heavy petting.

…I signed up for an Adam4Adam account about three days ago, mainly to try and meet brothas for my trip to Chicago. After hacking into the site to build a profile, it was rejected. Maybe God's trynna tell me something.

…I need to stop crushing on emotionally unavailable gay men. Conversely, I need to stop crushing on emotionally available straight men.

…I give blood regularly. I'm HIV-, STD free, and my blood type is B-. Fuck the Red Cross; folks need blood in an emergency (Katrina? Ophelia? Rita? Wilma? Beta?), especially for rare blood types (although we all know the rarest blood type is the one that's not available when you need it!).

…I need to get more sleep.

On that end, I'm out.