On average, I receive about 300 e-mails a day. This makes it extremely hard when to return messages on time, and even worse when I skip a day of checking e-mail and have to play catch-up. Most of these messages are spam, some are nudie pics, and even less are actual e-mails I want to read. Call it a casualty of being on the pulse of the 'net.

I think what I hate most are forwards. It's the modern equivalent of a chain letter, and I swear 'fore Jesus morons keep sending them out, poorly formatted and containing the headers of the tens of hundreds of people who received this bullshit before they did…and most of them are from work. You've got a souped up system, tons of bandwidth, and the best y'all can do is crank out those damned Neiman Marcus cookie recipes? Shit, at least download some porn or illegal mp3s behind your company firewall. Get the real hookup.

So I'm going through my daily delete-fest and come across this forward:

1. Throw out non-essential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down..
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. And always remember: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

I know, I know…très hokey. But I try to follow most of these even though I live my life as an mild-mannered creative professional/IT guy/evil despotic bastard. Numbers 2 and 10 are the hardest, but I'm workin' on it, even when they are few and far between.

The saga continues…