The best way to predict the future is to invent it. — Alan Kay

There's less than 100 days left until my birthday. That's right — the big 2-5. Thinking forward, I am wondering what lies in store for 2006, what I want to accomplish, and where I want to be. Work If you've been a frequent reader of this blog, you know I've had some suck-ass jobs. As time goes on, and I am now on the verge of possibly leaving this job and going to another one, I'm asking myself if this corporate America rat race is what I really want to do. Sure, the pay keeps a roof over my head, food in my gullet (sometimes) and money in my pocket (rarely), but overall, I hate it. Progress reports, staff meetings, team-building exercises — all of that takes away from me doing my job to the best of my ability. And it doesn't help when all your supervisors have been downright psychotic in nature and moronic in aptitude.

This is the unfortunate side-effect of growing up genius — realizing that everyone you work for will always be dumber than you.

So as I reflect on managers past, I wonder if it's just that I don't like working for idiots or if I just don't like working for someone else's goal other than my own. For serious — I don't reap anything if the company turns a greater Q4 profit than normal. A 1.5% merit raise? That's some bullshit. However, the onslaught of corporate buzzwords and catchphrases is making me appreciate my talent as a wordsmith.

I mean really, can you use paradigm shift without it referring to moving twenty cents?

The want to strike out on my own doing freelance web design and brand consultancy is strong. Do I have the talent? Yeah. The experience? Certainly. Would I have a steady client base? Probably not. My freelance experiences have been less than glamourous and those were only side gigs. I hear stories all the time of people quitting their nine-to-fives and being strictly entreprenuers doing web design or just tending to their blog. Haven't heard of any that are my color, but that's not to say it couldn't happen for me.

Could you see me saying "Hey, I quit my job. Now pay me to to sustain my current way of living!"

Yeah…umm…

Then again, there's always school.

College A recent phone conversation with Twin brought to light my hunger for higher education. I definitely do not want to stop at the bachelor's level. The thing is, I am not sure what I'd go back to school to pursue. My undergrad research in measure-theoretic (metric) entropy of ergodic systems (see also this link) landed me a speaking gig at Oak Ridge many moons ago, but I've been so far removed from it now that I'd be surprised if I could even still perform sigma algebra. Elementary sigma algebra. Pretty much anything in the graduate level for Mathematics would lead to professorship at any college in the nation, though. Or the FBI. Hell, even the NSA. Cryptology is still all the rage, I hear.

Of course, this web thing is my passion. Coding for standards, AJAX, AHAH, the emerging folksonomy of the Web…it would be fascinating to apply these to an educational standpoint as we move to bridge the digital divide in the 21st century. Not to mention, it would be a lot of fun.

And yet, the urge to write is still strong. Manual remains the thorn in my side, the fire in my belly and the raging fissure in my ass as I struggle to birth this bitch into existence. Could a fierce writing program headed up by a cracker-jack staff be just the epidural I need?

Moreso, could I do any of these while still being in Atlanta?

Location This place has never felt like home. Hell, Alabama never felt like home either and that is where I came to be. That first encounter with the West Coast in 2000 was one of those life-changing experiences — definitely light years away from being a barefoot country boy in the middle of nowhere. Even my short time spent in Seattle and Vancouver were extremely enjoyable. Went to New York — it was alright. No shade, y'all — I'll definitely have to visit again to get a better feel of the city (preferrably under less despotic conditions). In 2 weeks, I'll be in Chicago scouting the territory. Where will I lay my hat next? Every day may be an opening day here, but I've always felt like it's closing time.

And not just because of the men.

Relationships I have always told myself that a man would never hold me back. Say I did have a manfriend and ended up getting that dream job out in Cali and he doesn't want me to move. Sorry, Charlie — I'm out like the vapors. Luckily for me, that situation hasn't arisen yet, primarily because of a lack of suitable partnership options.

A nut is cool, but can a brotha get honey too?

Recently, I've met two guys: Tall Boy and Brown Delight. 22 and 24, respectively. IT guy and grad student, respectively. Georgia and Alabama, respectively. Both have been in my mind and heart now for the past month or so. Both are great listeners and very sweet and put up with the Karsh despite bouts of self-doubt, bitchiness, euphoria, depression and militantism.

Hell, you gotta love 'em for that.

Brown Delight does have a boyfriend though, which is a problem because dude is jealous as all get out. Also, he's a state over and doesn't come to ATL often unless it's so see the aforementioned jealous one. A bummer. Tall Boy, on the other hand, isn't exactly front and center either: he's a Katrina evacuee, so his time in ATL might be limited. Also, he hasn't been able to see me lately because…well, we just hadn't. Hazardous conditions and the like; I won't go into detail about it. Both of them know how to use the phone though, and even send me text messages during the day. God, how sweet is that? Technology rocks.

Speaking of which….

Geek I am a Black nerd. I'm not a huge Star Trek fan, but I am a movie buff, love me some comic books, and get into computers like you would not believe. New social apps for the Internet excite me. Intelligence makes my dick hard. I read PC Magazine like some dudes read Black Inches or Playboy. And personal electronics and gadgets? Don't get me started! I'd go into a tirade over the plight of Black nerds (and moreso Black gay nerds — how your nerddom often desexualizes you as a gay man), but that's another post for another time. For me, I've neglected really expanding my skill set because of overall laziness and lack of time. I want to be able to create Konfabulator Yahoo! widgets, make a MARTA map using the Google Maps API and do a Wordpress plugin or two. These are things I know I can do, but just haven't. Hell, even my graphic design has suffered — you have no idea how many requests I get to post more wallpapers and more of my creations. I'm surprised, really. The plague of corporate mediocrity has set in deep, and it's time to exorcise that bitch. Does this go hand-in-hand with starting my own shit? Abso-fuckin'-lutely! That first step is the hardest though, and I've already begun. Can't stop now, you know.

Too many questions. Not enough answers. The time for action is now.