Fresh off of Brooding Velma's incompetent managerial jackassery, she requested that I be moved to another team of designers. The way things are set up now, there are 30 designers split into teams of three. Brooding Velma is one of the team managers, Fat Bastard is the other manager, and the third one is Grown Not Sexy.

Grown Not Sexy is…well…self-explanatory. Perhaps about ten or fifteen years ago, she would've been a contender. But now she's one of these chicks wedged into the drones of middle-management who still has a faint inkling of her past sexiness and thinks she can resurrect it by wearing 4″ stillettos and talking in slang.

Memo: It ain't workin', boo. And now, I'm on her team.

I mentioned before that we have some new designers here. One of them is Mexican Cher, who a lot of the ladies there at work are gaga over. Tall, light-skinned, good hair…I can see why the chickenheads at work would flock to that cock. But he also has an attitude. Primarily with me, since I did kinda evict him from where he was working. He didn't move far though; his cube is right across from mine. We sit with our backs towards each other, so it's not like we ever have to talk to one another, which is probably a good thing since I can see him in my monitor rearview mirror cutting his eyes at me with disdain.

He's also on my team.

What I've noticed though is that the managers and other designers have been very patient in making sure he had the tools he needed to do his job. Maybe it's because they realize that as the department reaches critical mass while opening into new markets, its crucial to keep retention high and turnover low, especially going into the new year. Or perhaps he really won them over in the interview with his personality (which in every job I've been in obviously counts more than discernible talent or skill). But the real reason is because while the other designers still don't like me, they now also think I'm a bully for forcing Mexican Cher from my/his cube. Check this out.

Now I wear my headphones maybe 7 or 7½ hours out the day. People around me are talking constantly or on the phone and I need my concentration to design. That's how I've been able to smoke the other designers in my production numbers. But the headphones? Of course, I take them off for lunch. And you know…my ears get tired; I listen to podcasts and NPR, so it's all talk…nothing so loud that I can't hear someone in my cube or behind me. Plus I've got the monitor rearview mirror, so if anyone comes to my cube, I take my earphones, turn around and say "Howdy boss," then jump up and do a little hoe-down type two-step.

OK, not really, but you get the point.

Well in one of the moments of ear rest, I caught this bit of exchange between Mexican Cher and Grown Not Sexy.

"So how are things going so far with your new cube?"

"It's cool. I liked my old one better, so it's OK."

"Well, if you have any questions, you can ask Karsh; he's one of our best designers and has picked up on the knowledge here quickly."

"Mmm…nah, I'd rather not."

"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. If you have any questions, then just ask me or one of the other designers."

I turn around and say "So what exactly do you mean? Hm?"

She backpedaled. "Ohh, umm…uhh..I didn't know you had your headphones off…you're always there jammin' to some tunes…I'm so..I'm sor…"…and then her ass walked off, red-faced and two inches tall.

She later tried to recover at lunch when I broke out my new phone for Mr. Mon to see.

"Oh wow…your phone is nice…what kind is it?"

"It's the Nokia E62."

"And who is it with?"

"Cingular."

"Wow…those phones are expensive…how much did you pay for it?"

Clearly this chick has no home training — you don't ask someone something like that in mixed company…and especially not at work. What is her major malfunction?

"It wasn't that expensive. I used the insurance from when I lost my old phone to get it, so it wasn't so bad."

"Those phones are EXPENSIVE. How much are we paying you? Can I hold it?"

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"No. You may not hold my phone."

"But you let Mr. Mon hold it."

"I need to get back to work. Excuse me."

…

…

What? Hell, if they're not going to like me, I might as well give them a reason.