Oh, Tyler Perry. Really now. I mean, we’re glad you’re out there making money and doing your thing, but this whole writing-in-my-diary feel of this fan club letter over at EURweb is just pathetic.

Apparently, according to Perry, the critics don’t like his show “House of Payne” on TBS because of the weight of two actors on the show, couple Cassi and LaVan Davis.

An easy target, really. After all, the poor “comedic” timing, the lack of credible plot progression and the constant jokes based on stereotypes…those are things people just look over. I mean, they’re Black. And on TV. Acting. Surely that’s cause enough for us to hop up and do the chicken noodle soup between commercials, right?

But you know what…I’ll entertain Perry for a minute here.

I believe the main reason that Perry’s show is such a bomb is because he hasn’t broken out of writing for the stage. A large majority of his material actually goes over quite well in a theater because Ma’dea — Tyler Perry’s drag alter-ego — and the other characters can easily break the fourth wall. They can feed off the energy of the audience and stretch and milk jokes for all they’re worth. It’s a more intimate experience. Or rather, you don’t have to try as hard because the audience will meet you halfway.

“House of Payne” would actually do well as a play; it falls within the realm of Perry’s regular antics. TV, on the other hand, is a whole ‘nother ball game. There’s so many other things to take into account with just a direct transfer from on medium to the next.

Fuck the heavy actors. Bring on some heavy writing.

But, if we are talking about the girth of the Davis’ as being the reason the critics don’t like the show, then couldn’t Perry actually get some furniture that the two can sit in and not look horribly uncomfortable? I mean, if they’re not standing or moving around, they both just kinda lean into the chairs and couches…not sit in them. And stop putting Cassi in those flowing blouses. Her arms are already short; when she goes flailin’ them around, it’s like watching a raptor from Jurassic Park.

I’m just saying….