No, it's not part of Oprah's book club.

It ain't the Law of Attraction, and Rhonda Byrne damn sure didn't discover it.

For you see, I am the secret. At least when it comes to relationships.

I'm not getting any younger. And of course, I'm thinking about what I want to change in my life since I'm approaching 30 and really want to get things in order. You know…finances, living conditions…and relationships.

I was thinking the other day about my past relationships and how essentially, I was never really with them, in the actual two-people-one-feeling type of way. They had their friends and their family and the things they did with them, and then separate from that, there was me. With each of them, I was never integrated into their lives in a way that would have gotten me to know more about them. I was just Mr. One-on-One. Opportunity and Hey Mr. DJ were perhaps the biggest offenders in this case. I was just the sideline ho.

Now when I was younger, that was OK. I was doing my own thing and they did theirs and never the 'twain did meet. But now that I'm older and all these feelings and shit start getting involved. Well…I don't want to be isolated like that. And I certainly don't want to be with someone who'd be ashamed to introduce me to the people in their lives, romantic relationship or otherwise. I mean, who would deny themselves of the Karsh experience willingly? It's their loss, y'know?

The flipside of that, though, is wondering what it is about me that'd want them to do that in the first place. My intelligence? My humor? My looks? My race? I'm not in the closet, but I'm not doing rhythmic gymnastics with the rainbow flag either. Hell, it could be a combination of all those factors.

For The Ex, he was ashamed to be seen with me in public.

For The Why, he was afraid his fianceé would find out.

And for the others? Who the hell knows.

So I ask…how many of you out there are keeping someone a secret for fear of what someone else might think?