I stopped dating as soon as I realized I could spend my time doing better things…like taking a shit or picking my nose.

Sure, it's less hygienic, but at least you get a satisfying end after your efforts.

A few months ago, I decided to enroll in a few online dating services hoping to meet The Future Mr. Karsh — or at least my next decent lay. Now you have to understand that this was a fairly large step for me: to be honest, while Opportunity is nothing more to me than a regretful memory, I still relish those good times in a relationship that can occur when the attraction is on an even keel. Every relationship has them — some longer than others; those moments of bliss when you realize how lucky you are to have them, and you know the feeling's mutual. Well ever since that break, I've been auditioning guys and none have gotten the role. Aside from McQuickie and Hey Mr. DJ!, that's all the action I've had romantically in the past two years.

So I felt it was time to change that.

First, i tried Match.com on for size. I had a profile on there many moons ago, but mostly only got pursued by men 50 years and older and women. Yes…women. On the men seeking men portion of a dating site. Moreso than that, I was reticent on forking over $35 for a membership. I'd always be all "Oh, I can find someone for free"…but that's the thing. I wasn't finding someone for free. And even if I went out to bars and clubs and the like, that ain't free either. So what's the difference?

Initially, I wasn't too thrilled with the results from my initial search. Think about it this way — free sites are going to attract more people because their presence there is disposable. That's not to say that paid sites attract a better caliber of people, but it does attract those serious enough to make a financial commitment to gain membership. And you know what…after 24 hours, I already had made three dates. For the sake of brevity, we'll call them Killian's Red, Tall Jasonand Gay Jason.

Tall Jason was…well…tall. 6′8″ to be exact. And sadly enough, his height was the most interesting thing about him. We went out on two dates. Both were seafood. And that was the most interesting thing about those dates. Seriously! I don't even remember anything else about his personality or what he did or anything, because he was grossly blase about a lot of things. Nothing lost there.

You know how you meet a guy, and you can tell the most interesting thing about him is his sexual attraction to men and the lifestyle associated with it? That was Gay Jason. He had just moved here from New Orleans, had a process (in 2007, y'all), and talked in a lot of broad generalizations, sweeping gestures and lip smacks. He actually postponed our first date for frivolous reasons (it was raining and he didn't want to mess up his hair), so I already knew before our next date that it would be the last time I'd see him.

I know what you're thinking: "Why even meet him in the first place?" Well, I wanted to see what he was like in person. We had a date at Atlantic Station which comprised of him bitching about the restaurant he picked (if you could call Moe's Southwest Grill such), then bitching about the weather, then talking about his hair and Britney Spears. Next!

Killian's Red was the dark horse, primarily because he was NOT what I'd look for physically in a date, but his personality won me over quickly. Imagine a big ruddy Irish redhead boy…who's also in seminary. Yeah, not a good match for me, traditionally. But he was so open and likable and just so damn cute…I had to meet him. The first date was kinda awkward — we went to Hard Rock Cafe, and then Hooters — and we discussed religion through the whole date. But you know what — whereas I expected him to be judgmental and hypocritical…he wasn't. His religion, while something that was obviously a big part of his life, wasn't overt to the point which those who weren't Christian would be offended by it.

Refreshing, no?

We had steak dinner and drinks for our second date at Lindbergh. We got to talk more about work and school and blogs (he has his own site), and on our third date, we went to see "Superbad", and had dinner at Au Bon Pain, where over our rice bowls, he said we couldn't date anymore. He gave school as his reason for not wanting to date anymore, even though he did drop in casual conversation a few times that his parents and his friends would not be comfortable with him dating a Black guy. I mean, I can assume he told me the truth because he's studying to be a priest, right? And he is a chaplain at a children's hospital. Well, whatever the case, after that third date, that was it. He didn't return my calls or e-mails, and he's still on Match.com, despite him saying he was deleting his profile to concentrate on school. Oh well.

And since then, I've been dateless. My last date with Killian's Red was in September, and I've thrown myself into work and school since then, deciding that the dating thing is not right for me now. Sure, it'd be great, but I'm much more pragmatic than optimistic. I'm in the homestretch of a Master's program, I have the Black Weblog Awards for 2008 to think about, and I'm at a new job. On top of this, I've started going to home ownership seminars to see if buying my own place before I turn 30 is going to be economically viable (Answer? It is, but not at the present time because of the housing market.).

So meanwhile, it's more about me than it is about a future date. And I can honestly say I'm not that pressed over it either.

It's been much more fun treating myself.

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