This coupon is good for one free bitch slap Let’s not mince words, shall we? My job sucks. And for once, I’m not the only one feeling this way. Since Big Company Inc. has been fully assimilated into the Borg, we are now doing more work in less time, but expected to produce increased quality. Management has become increasingly hostile, and the place is hemorrhaging employees at a rate of about two to four a week. In a department of 75, that’s a noticeable drop. And our new department director plans on taking away our work-from-home privileges, cancel our in-house incentive program, and isn’t going to bring on any contractors (about 80% of the designers) on as full-fledged employees. Everyone is looking for new work, and management knows it.

And Atlanta tech recruiters know it too.

No sooner than I re-activated my resume on Monster did the calls start flooding in; the thing is, a lot of these tech recruiters all have the same clients and don’t realize that a lot of them are calling to fill the same position.

My current position, that is.

In the past six days, I’ve gotten over 30 calls and e-mails from 30 different agencies, all for my exact same position! “Web designer working for a Fortune 500 company…great Midtown location…must know Dreamweaver, Photoshop, etc.” And the killing part is that a) they claim to be looking at my resume and b) they even mention that I’m currently working for the same company they’re trying to staff me at. However, one phrase shuts them down quickly.

“I’m only looking for permanent job opportunities right now.”

Case closed. But more than that, some of the recruiters I’ve been getting have really been going above and beyond the call of duty. I’ve gotten calls as late as midnight for jobs and as early as 6am. Some are pushing jobs that I’m not even qualified for; I was getting a gang of calls for a bilingual Spanish tech support agent. When I said I didn’t really know Spanish, the recruiter replied “then buy Rosetta Stone!”

And then there’s the one recruiter who seemingly knows it all. He called trying to push a position on me (the same position I currently hold) and when I declined, he said “You know what your problem is? You need to be working a job paying you at least $10 more an hour. Stop taking these low paying jobs.”

Now for that to come from a recruiter is not only rude, but totally unwarranted. I told him “you called me offering me this low paying job…I know it’s a low paying job because it’s my current job.”

“Oh, well why didn’t you say that?”

“You said you had my resume in front of you — why didn’t you read it before picking up the phone? Answer that, smart guy.”

“Well, I’m sorry to have bothered you, but listen to my advice, OK kid?”

Re-read the title of this post again.

The offers are starting to improve now; they’re all permanent gigs, with some even talking about fully paid relocation. I haven’t pursued any of them yet, but I will soon. What kills me is knowing that I’ll have to go interview which means I’ll have to probably cut my luxurious mane of hair.

Or I could just show up with my 7″ afro and see if they will still make the interview about my skills and experience. I hadn’t decided yet.