You'd think by now I'd have had my fill of dating emotionally-stunted man-children, but sometimes, I even surprise myself. Take today for example and my date with El Asso Wipo.

I was stood up. Actually, I was stood the fuck up, because all of our interactions prior to today's meeting pointed to a great probability that we'd actually meet and have a good time. We chatted on the phone several times and had great chemistry via e-mail. But after I was unable to reach him several times today while standing out in front of the theatre, it looked like all that good chemistry ended up in a failed experiment. Luckily, I had a plan B. I went and grabbed brunch at IKEA over at Atlantic Station, got a cute basket for the living room, then came on home.

In the past, I would have dwelled on what happened and if there was any way something I did might have affected how things went. Now, it's simply an afterthought. Truth be told, had the date actually transpired, I'd be sitting in a nearly 3-hour movie with no definite plans afterwards, and $8.00 poorer. Since I'm getting little to no cash coming in from the business (more on that later), I gotta pinch pennies until they scream for mercy.

If you really want to be technical, I guess getting stood up was great for my budget. (Yeah, I know that was a stretch.)

Should El Asso Wipo call back (and really, why would he after fucking up?), I'll calmly say that it's not a match, and just keep it moving. No gunshots. No fanfare. And really, no need for it, don't you think? But it did make me think a lot more about what the future Mr. Karsh would be like. (This'll probably change from day-to-day, but for now, I think it's a decent model.)

First, I would probably take the good parts of my exes just as a decent point of reference:
The Ex: his dick and his singing ability
The Why: his ass and his sincerity
Opportunity: his body and his taste in music
Gaara: his face and his sense of humor

Now let's keep building. The future Mr. Karsh would also be financially stable. He doesn't have to be balling out of control, but borrowing money from me all the time and living in abject squalor is not the business in 2009. Fucka recession. Being career-oriented would also be a plus. Dating someone unemployed (or barely employed) just brings unnecessary stress into a relationship that I don't need. He'd also have to be emotionally open (or at least emotionally secure). No mental breakdowns, crises of conscience, please. Be a man, for cripes sake. And if he can make me laugh or we share some of the same hobbies, that'd be nice also.

What do you think...too much? Not enough? I'm not super picky -- I just want someone that's going to do the right thing, which is not being an asshole.

UPDATE: El Asso Wipo just called while I was putting this e-mail together, but I let it go to voicemail. And he didn't leave a message. Punk shit, obvs.

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