SXSW is a Motherfucker

As much as I hate doing listicles (hey, that’s what the Asides are for…sorta), SXSW is the sort of thing that you can only walk away from with some sort of general base of knowledge which can’t totally be contained in one post. You’ve gotta list it out. This year’s SXSW was the largest yet, with attendance rivaling — and some say surpassing — the Music portion of the festival (which is generally the biggest part of SXSW). After a decade of trying to get there, this year, I made it. And I walked away in one piece. So here’s what I learned at my very first SXSW Interactive Festival. Bring on the list!

Things I Learned At My Very First SXSW Interactive Festival

1. If you hay fever, stay medicated. If you have hay fever or some other sort of severe case of allergic rhinitis, get your meds up because Austin will kill you. They’ve got some shit down there called cedar fever, which when combined with Austin’s dry air, will kill you. OK, let me stop saying it will kill you; it will severely debilitate you. I didn’t have my regular meds with me, and the cedar there did a number on me (I still have a hoarse voice). I took Zyrtec, Alavert, Claritin, ibuprofen, and only really caught two out of the five days of programming (including the parties, which I will get to later).
2. You may get spring, summer, and fall all in one week. Dress accordingly. While I was there, it was as high as the mid 70s, low as the low 50s, and it rained for two days. Bring a light-weight waterproof jacket. You’ll thank me.
3. It’s not really for introverts. This one I sorta knew going into SXSW. I’ve never really been one to strike up conversations with complete strangers, especially when I’m hopped up on allergy meds and overall feeling like crap. Such was the case there. And despite my C-list Innanet Status™, very few people even said “hello” to me except for the ones at my panel or at other panels I attended. The real socializing happens outside of the Convention Center. Oh yeah, and regular sized business cards are out. Those MiniCards from Moo are the new hotness. Get into them.
4. Texas BBQ is overrated as fuck. Sorry Texans, but I was expecting to be blown away by some out-of-this-world ribs and brisket and shit. Maaan…I went to Stubbs BBQ. *womp womp* I went to Moonshine. *womp womp* I had Salt Lick at the airport on my way out-of-town. *cue The Price Is Right fail music* I’m hella biased though; I grew up in a BBQ family. There’s precious little BBQ that can top my grandfather’s whole smoked pig.
5. Downtown Austin is delightfully walkable and safe, even when drunk at 3am. Maybe there was just an increased security presence, but as I walked from venue to venue and back to my hotel, I felt totally safe. Downtown Atlanta could learn something from Austin about how to keep their Downtown vibrant yet safe at night. Speaking of walking, those back problems I thought I’d have while down there were nonexistent. Blocks were short, and the Downtown area was an easy to remember grid system. This is unlike Atlanta where one block could send you up a hill, down a hill, and on uneven terrain. No wonder my back is all outta order. Damn all-terrain Downtown Atlanta.
6. You can just visit the night-time events and still get the SXSW experience. I think this was more true than ever this year (and I’ve never even been to SXSW). The panels are nice, don’t get me wrong. But when programming wraps, people are going to want to grub before going to stand in line at whatever Internet startup is throwing a party that night. And if you get the right people, you can go and have fun elsewhere that’s not in Downtown Austin. So for those of you who are trying to come to SXSW and don’t have the cash for a badge, you should still come. Get on Twitter, meet up with people, and have your own fun.
7. The “SXSW experience” is whatever you want it to be. For most, it’s grossly overcrowded parties with free booze, shitty music, and “VIP Access”. Lord Jesus, the parties. Standing in line for 20 minutes to an hour only to get into a packed little bar serving drinks and no room to dance is not my idea of a party. Add to this the possible presence of a web celeb or three and people start going apeshit. Shit just felt mad caste-y, if you know what I mean. Too many Ps wanting to be around not enough VIPs. Also, most of these parties are pretty hetero-themed anyway (except for that one who had the hot buff guys walking around in “I <3 GEEKS” shirts…damn!), so if you’re looking for something more up your alley, you’d have to venture out. But things like that 3am flash mob in the lobby of the Hilton were priceless for me.
8. Web celebs do nothing for me. Pete Cashmore. Guy Kawasaki. Gary Vaynerchuk. *yawn* When’s the next panel? (Although to be fair, I did have a fan boy moment for a hot second when I realized Violet Blue was standing in front of me at the mic for questions at one of the panels. Squee!)
9. Panels? Wait, you’re at SXSW for information? Nerd. Tch…yeah, I know right? It seemed like panels were the least exciting thing about this year’s SXSW, even though there were a lot of really good ones. It’s amazing how at a convention for interactive content, the panels which were NOT discussing interactive content were the real gems. But people were too busy bopping from place to place grabbing Foursquare badges and Gowalla stickers and trying to gain VIP access to the next overcrowded party to notice that. A pity.
10. Booze flows freely during SXSW. Water’s usually around $3.50/bottle. Make it easy on yourself. Bring your own water bottle from home (preferably one with a built-in filter like this one) and fill it up in a water fountain or bathroom sink. Or go to the Whole Foods flagship store and pick up a huge case of water. But don’t pay those convention center prices. Stay hydrated for the low-low.

And that’s about it for me. Will I make to SXSW next year? I haven’t decided (the allergies really put a damper on the experience). The only way I really made it this year was because I had a panel (which waived the fee tremendously) and I had sponsorship. All I had to buy was the plane ticket. I’m still on the fence, honestly. The cons definitely outweighed the pros, which leaves me with a bittersweet feeling about returning altogether. Hell, I didn’t even get my “Survival” badge from Foursquare for getting out that bitch with my respiratory system intact! How’s that for gratitude?

*sigh*

We’ll see about me coming back next year.