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Posted on 01/01/06 @ 11:38 pm
Tall Boy was a liar. Sure, we went out and had a great time, and he fed me a good line about wanting to see me again and stuff, but after his first lie about having a urinary tract infection and the second lie about being a night manager at a hotel, I tired of playing Mr. Run-Around and dumped his ass. Brown Delight is somewhat in the picture, but he dropped the "let's just be friends" bomb so that's in limbo. Besides, he has a boyfriend anyway so that's no dice unless I want to play Harry Homewrecker. During my time away from Atlanta, I've been doing a lot of thinking about 2006 and what the future holds for my personal life. I'm pondering love, spending time with someone special, relishing in intimate moments, just having fun with friends and where I fit into all that. I don't. Quite frankly, I'm ready to throw in the towel. And yeah, I've said that before, but I mean throwing the towel into a safe, encasing it in concrete and then dropping it into the Atlantic Ocean. Why the change in '06? It's part of my new year campaign — "I'm Too Grown For This Shit". Say it with me: 2006 is the year of "I'm Too Grown For This Shit". And why shouldn't it be? I'm ready to turn into the hermit up in this piece. I'm talkin' just going to work, then coming home, and retreating only for the grocery store or any other provisions. I might even go out with Goofball every once in a while since those social situations are the only ones where I'm not sticking out like a sore thumb. I might go see more movies. Hell, even take more trips (according to my 101/1001, I still have Vegas, Paris and an Amtrak destination left). But with a good idea of where I want to be in the near future, it's a road I'll have to go solo. A buddy or a boyfriend would be good in the journey, but I'm a realist…and I realize that I can't rely on that. It sounds worse than it is, I'm sure, but with extended introspection can come clarity. Right now, everything is very much muddled and confusing and I need to cut the shit. Geez…you'd think I'd actually be able to relax while on vacation. Filed under: Miscellaneous Comments:
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2005 was not a banner year for me. Sure, I managed to get a speck of notoriety for some of my projects, and that's all well and good. But as far as my personal life (friends, family, boyfriends), it downright sucked ass. The family relations have been stressful, the companions few and far in between…and the men? Let's see…who was I last crushing on…that's right. 
Name's Karsh. 27. Country-born, city-raised, 
When you truly let it go - I mean really - and have complete confidence in yourself and ready to grow old on your own with a smile; comfortable in your skin and home…then someone will happen.
Sounds corny as all hell, but it's true.
Have a great 2006, Karsh. Best wishes.
Said by Starmaiden — 01/02/2006 @ 1:22 am
the words you posted could have flowed from my hands to my computer. i feel a lot like you and sometimes i feel like i am the only person in atlanta not going out and crushing on someone because i am currently doing neither of those things. i guess you showed me that i am not alone in this city.
Said by accomplice — 01/02/2006 @ 1:43 am
I'm in complete agreement. I was firmly entrenched in my celibacy when an old flame resurfaced. We sniffed each other were poised to give it a go. Then things got crazy and I remembered while I was so down on relatiosnhips. I am too old for this shit. If something happens cool, if not no big thing.
Said by Larry — 01/02/2006 @ 10:14 am
Happy New Year!
Said by P. Alonzo Harris Jr. — 01/02/2006 @ 10:25 am
I feel you on the grown. You're older and wiser, and at a certain point you really gotta say enough is enough. At the same time, you're definitely not old. Don't let youth be wasted on the young.
Said by Colin — 01/02/2006 @ 10:44 pm
I'm totally feeling your comments. Men ain't shit. So how was Chicago? I read Phillybred's version..:-)
Said by E — 01/04/2006 @ 9:16 am
I'm so glad I chanced upon your blog. I too am dealing with the maze of brothers that are too afraid to admit they are too lonely and in need of some intimacy. It seems to me to open your yourself up to the idea of intimacy is a sign of weakness to others. The underlying assumption appears to be if you're willing to give your heart it can't be that valuable. I know there are others out there who have reached a level of maturity beyond that of highschool, but the maze gets tiring.
Said by Truly Troubled — 01/04/2006 @ 9:16 am
happy new year!
Said by dizyaboy — 01/07/2006 @ 4:34 pm