First, a little back story. Compatible Partners came online a little less than a year ago as a result of a lawsuit filed against eHarmony by a New Jersey man who stated that eHarmony would not partner him with another man (just with women). After three years in court, eHarmony settled by creating a gay version of their popular dating site which would incorporate their patented compatibility matching system. Personally, I think they could’ve went with a less sterile name, but hey, it is what it is.

And it’s more of the same. Let’s snore along together, shall we?

Once you enter your basic information on the front page (name, ZIP, e-mail), it takes you through the site’s exhaustively long questionnaire. Yeah, I know you have to do all of this so they can match you according to their system, but Jesus Christ, could they think of the usability at least? I’ve filed my taxes in shorter time than it took to go through this gargantuan form. Yeah, state and federal. Once you finally get through and you’ve submitted a picture for their approval and such, you’re at the main menu.

If this looks pretty empty, then get used to it. I’ll explain why later in this post. When you start having matches come in through the site, you’ll see them in this area under the “Match Updates” tab. Click through to view the person’s profile, which has sections of information of all that shit you just typed out when you signed up for Compatible Partners. (What, you were expecting poetry?) There’s also pictures available if that person has decided to make them available, or has requested you to contact them to see a picture. (These are usually the ugly ones. Kidding!) Once the system finds a guy for you (antiquated, I know, but I guess it’s part of their system), you’ll show up as a “match” in each other’s Match Updates tab. Then you can reach out to them (or vice versa), and if you’re lucky, you go through their eight-step guided communication before you get a chance to contact them outside of Compatible Partners’ system.

What I thought was a pretty interesting feature here is the Reports, Compatible Partners summary of your best traits in an easy-to-read format. For an extra fee, they will go into some other mumbo-jumbo about yourself that might be worth the price of admission. The site is constantly trying to up sell you for other services, such as their RelyID feature which lets you have a “verified” profile matched to your address, and the profile advisor feature, which will improve your current profile for the extremely steep price of $99.95. Zoinks.

Speaking more about price, this is one of the site’s main deterrents. In other words, the cost to join is so expensive (the lowest price is around $60/month), that chances are many people you are contacting on the site are not even paid members. Why? Well like any of these kinds of sites, it’s free to join and post a profile, but it costs cash to actually contact people. And since the site has no way of letting you search for members, you don’t know who’s free and inactive from who’s paid and active. So don’t fret if you find that no one is replying to your pithy words, dear reader, they’re just too cheap to shell out the dough to do so. And don’t we all know that romance without finance has no chance?

The saving grace here is their free communication weekend. It’s the same bullshit you see in the eHarmony commercials with happy hetero couples dancing badly to “This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)”, but this time with a techno beat. During the free communication weekend, the pay wall of contacting other members is let down for 4-5 days, and you can chat it up with whomever the site decides to match you up with for communication.

Overall, don’t waste your time with Compatible Partners unless you’ve got over $100 to sink into a place with little to no return on your investment. With that cash, you could get better odds at your local gay watering hole. And on repeat visits, too! Naturally, your mileage may vary.

The GI Joe trailer was kinda cool too. I kinda wished this would’ve played though:

Pork chop sandwiches!

No? You haven’t? Well screw you then. I’ll just sit my fat ass here and write this review. I get enough exercise pushing my luck, thankyouverymuch.

If you’re still in the gym (or trying to get a friend to join you), the folks over at R.E.D. Distribution have a new CD out called Workout: Pumping House.

The 16-track CD features tracks by dance vocalist mainstay Jocelyn Brown and drag diva RuPaul. The CD is available for download and purchase; physical CDs also include a seven-day guest pass to Bally Total Fitness so you can go ogle hot bodies. Oh yeah, and I guess work out too. “The Biggest Loser” fans will recognize the show’s theme song “Looking Good, Feeling Gorgeous” as one of the compilation’s standout tracks.

After a heavy listen, I found little differentiation between tracks, which I guess is pretty good if it’s a CD you’re supposed to work out to; each track melds into the next providing a constant thumping beat on a full listen. Whether that’s good or bad is up to you and your tolerance for dancing with your hands above your head.

For more information, visit the CD’s website and give it a listen.

Workout: Pumping House [Amazon]

I want to like this show. I mean, it looks good on paper, y’know? David Alan Grier is an accomplished comedian most well-known for his roles on In Living Color. Comedy Central has the political satire game on lock. Surely putting the two together would be comedic gangbusters. So far though, Chocolate News comes off like…well…In Living Color. Characters Grier have played so far include a breast-baring transsexual, an overweight, misogynistic gangster rapper, and a cross-eyed thug against high gas prices. The combination of acerbic editorials and half-assed sketch pieces (along with a 30-minute time slot) will probably doom this show to a first-season cancellation. It’s a shame really; considering how many people are prone to showing their ass because of the overwhelming support of Barack Obama, Chocolate News could be at the forefront of capitalizing on the idiocy and gaffes that are sure to come.

Instead, we have David Alan Grier with fake tits. Nice.

Not to be left behind in the Black-comedian-hosts-current-events-satire trend, CNN will premiere D.L. Hughley Breaks The News tonight at 10pm. My original thought? I hope D.L. has some super glue handy. A Black man and broken property? I’m just sayin’…

I had the chance to see the first episode earlier this week (there are also some video clips up on CNN.com), and just off the top, it seems like more of a finished product than Chocolate News. The show is an hour long, and features interviews and in-the-field type reporting satire.

Y’know, like The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

Tune in tonight and judge for yourself.

Poking fun at Atlanta is sort of like someone poking fun at your mother. Sure, you can do it, but damn it, no one else better say anything wrong. However, in a city with high foreclosure rates and mortgage fraud, extreme debt, crumbling sewers, traffic snarls and unaccredited school districts, shouldn’t we laugh a little at it (if only to keep from crying)? A troupe of talented improvisational sketch comedians from Chicago’s famous Second City Theatre brings that much needed laugh with The Second City: Too Busy To Hate…Too Hard To Commute.

It’s kind of difficult to review a show like this because while the immensely talented cast has plenty of Atlanta topics to pull from and their own Second City material, a large part of the show’s success falls on the audience. The usual Alliance audience isn’t used to this kind of format; for example, at the show I attended tonight, some drunk woman shriek-laughed in the front row after being singled out by the cast. On another skit, what appeared to be a Civil War-themed dialogue quickly ran amok with audience suggestions of “syphillis” and “my best friend has batteries”. Less talented crews would have easily fumbled on these drunken suggestions, but hey, this is Second City.

The Hertz’s usual tiered seating is broken up with just simple bar tables, transforming the theatre into more of a hole-in-the-wall concert saloon. Tables and chairs were also placed close to the stage (fodder for the cast, no doubt), and a live keyboardist tickles the ivories and adds a whimsically Vaudevillian element to the overall setting. On stage, there’s six chairs and the cast. And right off the bat, they rip into the city’s underlying issues of race, diversity, class, politics, stereotypes, transportation, homosexuality, religion…you name it, they touch on it in some way. And that touching is sometimes on a raw nerve (as evidenced by people who complained at the intermission and others who walked out after sketches). Act I was hit (Neal Boortz, traffic, Braves games) or miss (improv church service, redneck store), and left me initially with the feeling that a regular audience member would have to be quasi-“in the know” about Atlanta to get most of the subtler jabs (or perhaps, just be sober). Act II quickly eliminated that feeling, turning up the offensive, punchy satire Second City is known for, and centering their sites on famed Atlanta institutions and ideas, like the Piedmont Driving Club and the failed Brand Atlanta campaign. Granted, this is based off of the first night of a show in previews, so the cast will have plenty of time to tune and tweak the show to achieve maximum laughs and minimal walkouts.

Actually, fuck that – let ‘em walk out if they can’t take a joke.

As a matter of fact, make it a joke about their mother.

Grade: B+

Rochester Itself

Cool. Not just temperature-wise, but the city itself was a good mix of small town closeness and metropolitan flair. Of course, this could be just because of the Festival I was in town before, but I liked it. Also, Rochester’s very green — I swear I saw just as many people riding bikes, taking public transit and driving motorcycles as I did in cars. The temperature was nice and cool too, but I’m guessing that’s because of its close proximity to Canada. It was much better than the ball-sticking heat of Atlanta. I could walk a mile without damn near passing out from a heat stroke. And this is with six inches of hair on my head in the summer. Please believe it.

The Hotel Room

You know the difference between a 3-star and a 4-star hotel? A 4-star hotel will see a nail sticking out of a headboard and go to great lengths to remedy the situation, maybe even replacing the entire bed. A 3-star hotel will just look at it and say “eh, that ain’t so bad”. Turns out I was paying more for the historical value of the room; the carpet was damp, several drawers in the room were broken, housekeeping barged in at all hours of the day unannounced (not even a courtesy knock). You know how some hotel rooms will have a small pad and pen for you to take notes and such? My room had a gnawed up pen, and when I went to get another one from the front desk, the night manager just laughed at me. I should’ve sprung the extra $100 for the Hyatt.

Twin and Triplet

Now I haven’t seen them since they got married back almost three years ago, and it was great to hang out with them. The Saturday I was there, we basically hung out at their house (they still living like college students, bless their hearts), grilled, drank, and talked shit about the future. Twin hates living in upstate New York, and as soon as he gets his Ph.D. (which should be in a few months), he wants to take the wifey and move to Switzerland.

Naturally, she’s against this.

Triplet just got her Master’s a few months ago in primary education, and wants to move to Utica after Twin graduates for a teaching position. The reasonable compromise for both of them, I think, is moving to Toronto. They both head up there nearly every weekend and love the city.

“It’s like visiting another country!” Twin said.

…

His Ph.D.’s not in geography, by the way.

Al Green

I went up to Rochester during the Rochester International Jazz Festival and got to see a bunch of great acts: Jake Shimabukuro, Soulive, Soul Rebels Brass Band, and of course, Al Green. Al Green still got a full head of thick, black hair y’all. Jerry Lewis ain’t got nothing on Al’s hair game, please believe it.

Can I just tell you? That was the quickest concert I’ve ever been to that cost that much. 86 dollars for a damn 45-minute set. And I guess it would’ve been cool if Al covered some new stuff off his new album, you know? Oh no – all old stuff. And not even the full songs y’all — we talkin’ the BET Awards, hand-on-popped-hip, admonishing-the-imaginary-lady-in-the-audience, staccato gasping song fragments. Shit, I could’ve got a 12-pack of Newcastle and put all my Al Green mp3s on repeat and had a better time. And maybe it was just because of where I was sitting, but the crowd wasn’t even hype. I mean this is Al Green! AL GREEN! I’m gonna need some more crowd participation. I bet when he came and performed here in Atlanta, he turned it out.

That’s one thing I’ll give Atlanta — they’re a great crowd for concerts.

But Al…if you’re reading? Work some new stuff in the concert, please.

Beady Belle

Yep yep — seeing Beady Belle was pretty much the only reason I wanted to come to Rochester. Soon as I heard she’d be performing, it wasn’t even an issue of making it — it was going to happen. And despite getting taken all the way to East Rochester by a surly cab driver, I still was the first person there and sat right in the front row singing long to all the songs on their first US performance. After the concert, I got to meet lead singer Beate S. Lech and the band’s drummer Erik Holm, and she signed all my CDs. Seriously, if that was the only thing that I did in Rochester, I’d have been happy for just that. There’s always something fulfilling about seeing an artist perform live that you’ve watched and listened to that’s grown over the years. I can’t quite explain the feeling, but it certainly inspired me to stay on my own personal grind (before it grinds me to a pulp).

[tags]beady belle, al green, rochester, new york, vacation[/tags]

Even though Sex and the City’s finale happened over four years ago, Miranda, Charlotte, Samantha and Carrie have never really left the airwaves. And no, I don’t mean just in syndication on TBS, WGN or the CW, but in many series that have copied their formula (Lipstick Jungle, Cashmere Mafia, Noah’s Arc, Girls Club, etc.) and haven’t lived up to the original. Even now, networks are still trying to harness that lightning-in-a-bottle type momentum Sex and the City originally garnered. Seriously, how was a movie NOT in the works?

This movie, obviously, is for fans of the show. And honestly, that’s how this review is biased. Normally, I try not to review a movie and give spoilers, but rather, I try to talk around the movie. It’s not really possible here, for you’d have to have watched the show to get probably 60% of what’s going on, from the girls’ character quirks to why they drink Cosmopolitans. If you haven’t seen the show, then you might want to check out a few episodes (Buzzsugar gives a good list), then come back and read this. Otherwise, the cat will be out of the bag. Or the Blahnik out of the box. Whatever works for you.

Ms. Bradshaw finally does it — she snags the elusive Mr. Big (aka John James Preston) and managed to tame him into marrying her. But if you think nearly two and a half hours of movietime goodness goes to just that event, you’d be mistaken. For the most part, the movie begins four years ahead of the finale with nearly all relationships still intact. Charlotte and Harry’s adopted Chinese daughter, Lily, is a beautiful and precocious girl (even though she has all of four lines in the movie, it seems). Samantha and Smith are now living in LA — she manages his career while jetsetting back to NYC at the drop of a hat. Miranda, Steve and Brady are still in Brooklyn and well-settled into family life. Carrie and Big are getting hitched.

And then, there’s a hitch, which honestly, is the crux point of the movie. It’s at this point which separates the true fans from the casual observers. From here on in, there’s a lot of hyperbole and drama which honestly, takes years to cultivate and understand, and won’t be caught by someone who just came along to the theater as the boyfriend or token gay friend.

Speaking of gay…that’s where I had a problem with the movie.

While all the girls’ relationships are still intact from the series finale, Carrie’s gay friend Stanford Blatch is suddenly single. When the series ended, Stanford had a “Broadway-caliber” dancer boyfriend Marcus Adent, they had a summer share in the Hamptons…hell, they even went to the gay prom! And now he’s single? Later in the movie, he even shares a smooch with his gay rival, catty wedding coordinator Anthony Marantino (played by openly gay comedian Mario Cantone). In an age of pregnant men and gay marriage, I’m kinda surprised Darren Star and Michael Patrick King — the two openly gay men who produced and directed the series and the movie — didn’t keep Marcus in — not even as a footnote so we would know what happened. He’s even met all the girls! It’s not like Sean Palmer’s been doing a string of TV and movie appearances.

Oh, but that’s right — the movie’s all about Carrie and Co. And screaming. Nearly every time the four meet, there’s screaming. I stopped counting at seven. Other things which are prevalent in the movie: double doors, monologues, one-liners and stereotypes…which brings me to my second problem with the movie.

Jennifer Hudson.

The soul singer/Oscar-winner/plot device/BBF is hired into the mix to get Carrie’s affairs in order in Act 2. As quickly as she’s ushered in, she leaves just as such…on a pun. She’s organized, she’s smart, she’s tech savvy…yet she rents handbags from Bag Borrow or Steal.

…are you kidding me? Hudson’s character just moved to the City, shares a one-bedroom apartment with three other girls, and has enough residual income to afford renting a fucking purse for over $100/week? I just thought this was a hot mess of a contradiction thrown in to show her as an even further departure from the thin, White female leads in the film, and I really didn’t like it. On the other hand, people said Carrie’s Manolo-buying, cab-taking, eating-out lifestyle obviously didn’t match what a newspaper writer with a weekly column would make, so maybe this is a link to the past.

Single gays and sassy girls aside, the movie manages to trudge to a satisfying conclusion with enough momentum built to garner a sequel. But I feel that if they do a sequel, then they might as well bring the show back on the air. The movie allows all the main characters to be a bit extra than perhaps most fans would be used to (Charlotte steals most scenes easily), but the new beginnings created should at least warrant another season. For now though, the movie serves as an adequate transition point from the women in their 30’s to the women in their 40’s. What we’re seeing here, is obviously a more mature cast. Fans will want more, certainly, but isn’t delayed gratification the definition of maturity?

Grade: B+

Oh yeah, and I’m going to the early matineé tomorrow morning so I can hopefully put together a review.

Somehow, people still think I’m straight….

BET’s College Hill Atlanta.

Oh dear.

I’m ambivalent, mostly. I mean, in terms of reality TV, BET is capitalizing on the college scene in Atlanta — something MTV has avoided for at least the last 15 years. So maybe it’s good that we’ll get to see a side of Atlanta that doesn’t have to do with the club scene, getting crunk and having swagger.

Then again…this is BET.

It’s hard not to pass judgment on the show even though I haven’t watched a single episode (and probably won’t unless forcefully coerced), but I’m trying to reserve a modicum of faith for it. I did go to college here, after all. And I’m still here. And there’s the possibility that some AUC schools will be in the mix.

I wonder what BET has to say about some of the cast members:

Anthony – He can lick his lips 10 times in a row. (Gay.)
Ashley R. – She wants to be judged for more than her looks. (Drama.)
Dorion – His favorite subject is Human Sexuality. (DL.)
Shavon – She really likes “Grease,” and likes men with swagger. ($10 says she goes to CAU.)

Oooooook.

This show can either be a good or a bad thing for the A. It could be good if they actually show college life in the city, how to balance school work with a city where every night is a party, or even just how different the HBCU experience is from other colleges. On the other hand, the radio spots I’ve heard and the commercials I’ve seen definitely give the impression that this will be a season of loud, raucous, sex-crazed young Black men and women, in college, yet out of damn control.

In the past two years, BET has already stepped in major shit with the Black community, from their “Read a Book” skit to “Hot Ghetto Mess” to their lineup of shitty “original” programming.

Is college going to be the next domain BET shits on, or will they actually come through and give a positive representation of the city and the Black college students in it?

[tags]college hill, atlanta, BET, reality show, AUC[/tags]